giving party!!

Man...I am still in shock with what God is doing. Last night we had a giving party with YWAM. The speaker this week for the DTS, Ben, led us out in this thing where we either prayed beforehand what to bring to give and who to give it to or to respond to god if He ptompted us to give something. My heart was a little hardened to it just because I feel awkward with giving and I was also having a little doubt that God would speak to me. I really wanted God to speak to me and use me to bless someone, but I didn't know what or who. So I prayed about every little specific thing that I own, which isn't much, but didn't feel peace about anything. so the night went on, people gave things and cried and it was amazing. God knows our heart so well that He knows exactly what we need and also how to touch our hearts. He did that last night. Andrea got like 3 cameras, one normal digital camera and two nice professional cameras. God just wanted to bless her that night even outside her need. People's outreach fees got paid, words of encouragement were given, it was beautiful. I actually had previously that day asked God for two things, a computer and an IPOD. Well I got the computer, Sami gave me her laptop..strait up...I have never owned a computer. Man I can't even express and coundn't then either, I said if I could cry I would have then. Then throughout the night, Bethany B gave me 2 blank canvases, Joshua gave me a glass chess set, Kenny gave me a Juggernaut he siad that he said represented that nothing could hold me back, through God I can go through anything. God then laid it on my heart to bless Kenny with my green racket ball that I bought a few weeks ago that I play with allot. When I was in my room looking for the ball, I remembered that previously that day I had knocked off my reflector off my bike, so I grabbed it along with the ball and went back even though I wasn't quite sure why I was giving him either of them. As I presented him with the two itemss I told him the ball was God telling him that He wanted him to be totally obsessed with him as I have an unhealthy obsession with balls...i play with them allot, I always have one around, become attatched to them so much that I am destraut and mad when I loose them. And the reflector meant that God wants to reflect that closeness to him to all the world. The whole night was the most I have felt God in a long time, I was beautiful, I can't even discribe it. So the night ended and people went to bed and such. I got up this morning early, went to Starbucks with Sam and Beth to meet about next week, I busted out the new laptop to take notes on. I got home an was playing on my computer and Trisha walks in with a big smile on her face and says I need to give you something that I was supposed to give you last night but didn't She opens up her hand and inside is an Ipod! I couln't even believe it. I have been wanting an Ipod as my MP3 player broke like 3 months ago and haven't been able to listen to music while I bike or anything. So yeah, basically God is good, God loves me, God loves you, we are his children and He just wants to bless us.

J.....,

so, I met this dude named J...., the other night in the bathroom at a local piano bar that me and my friends go to occasionaly. I was using the urinal and he almost peed on my because he didnt see me as he was drunk. He then struck up a 20 minute convrsation about how he was gay and he doesn't want to be, he has tried everything to not be gay...but he has given up' he just is not attracted to girls. He said he grew up mormon, he still claimed to be mormon even though he was gay. I asked him if I could share my view on homosexuality after I told him that I was a christian and he said yes. I told him that I see it as anything we are faced with: depression, anxiety, lack of self worth as obsticles that we have the option of over coming or not. We all have issues and problems and we either have the choice to accept them as a part of ourselves or not. I wanted to share more and help him understand that Jesus loves him no matter what; but he asked me whether I thought being gay was right or wrong and I had to tell him it was wrong. And he said that was his main reason for not liking the christian church...It is hard for me to tell people that I think they are wrong, I love people and would hate to sound at all judgemental. His friend texted him to go back because she was alone so he left and went to sit down and me and my friends left. We went to another bar next door but felt compelled to ask him if he wanted to come to church with me so I walked back over to that bar. I assured him that our church would accept him and love him but he passed. Then his friend basically kicked me out of their table..." I'm not going to have any of that bible talk"..is what she said..It sucked because I feel like he thinks I judged him, but I just wanted to show him love, true love, Christ's love. I pray that God will work on his heart and that He will come to know true love.

Faith in His faithfulness

Yesterday I was handed in cash $100 from a close friend and then another $40 from a friend from church. I was beginning to get a little worried about where I would get money for some things coming up including a road trip with some friends to Denver. I just had to laugh at the amount of $40 because that is the amount that I payed YWAM a few days ago for gas money that I owed. I was skeptical about paying it because I still needed some money for rent and such. So yeah, God is good. He takes care of flowers and birds, it just doesn't make sense that He wouldn't take care of us. But first before He provides we have to humble ourselves and be true to our word even if we don't know where provision will come from.